“Birchway Niagara completely changed our lives. They gave us back our freedom.”

– Grace*, former shelter resident and current after-care program client.

My name is Grace. I was married for 18 years to a narcissist without realizing the abuse I was living through. It wasn’t until my now ex-husband started verbally abusing my child that I started looking at our options to leave. I thought there were none.

As my teen and I sat on the bathroom floor with the door locked, he said to me, “Mom, it’s pretty bad we are locked in the bathroom to get away from dad.” It was true, yet I had not thought or even considered I was in an abusive relationship because he hadn’t laid his hands on me. He would yell and scream, even punched a hole in a door, but it wasn’t until my son said those words did I realize how bad it was.

I promised my teen that I would get us somewhere safe to live and we would be free.

I had no clue how to do that though. I had been isolated from my family and friends. I had been gaslighted to the point I went to two different doctors telling them I was crazy and them testing me. I argued with them when they said my memory was fine and I didn’t have early onset dementia. That’s what being gas lit does to you.

Anyways, I had no friends or family to help, no income except $700 a month and I was not able to work. How would I make this happen for us?

I called and made an appointment with one of Birchway Niagara’s Transitional & Housing Support Workers, Melanie. We sat down to fill out housing papers and she told me, after she heard my story, that my child and I were being abused – that physical abuse is only one form. I made another appointment with her for the following Monday to finish off the paperwork for geared-to-income housing. My ex had left upon my request but told me he was coming back on Monday. Monday, my child and I met with Melanie again. I told her that we were afraid – terrified actually that he was coming back home and I had no way to stop him. I had contacted my landlord but even knowing I was in an abusive situation I was not allowed to change the locks. Melanie made a call and Birchway said they had two available beds for us but we couldn’t bring our cats. They would hold the beds until 8 p.m. – to call and let them know.

7:15 p.m. comes around and I had not heard from my ex so I called to tell Birchway we would be o.k. As we were talking, the police called on my cell phone to tell me my ex was on his way back. Birchway Niagara saved the beds for us, called us a taxi and we started frantically putting a bag of clothes together. We left as the police got there with my ex. Luckily, I was able to arrange for a wonderful woman to provide a foster home so that our cats were safe too during our stay at Birchway Niagara. She even let us visit them at her home during our stay.

We were both terrified when we arrived at Birchway Niagara. The staff was so welcoming, loving and understanding. Our room was large and very comfortable. I was able to sleep for the first time in a long time without stress or fear.

We spent 5 ½ months at the shelter. We were clothed, fed, supported, counselled and loved.

They guided me to get financial help through ODSP. I received the call for housing. It was bittersweet quite honestly.

These people helped me when no one else would. I had everything I needed. The Christmas I spent there was the best Christmas I had in over 30 years. I made friendships I still have today.

It’s been just over a year now. Sarah still comes to visit me with their aftercare program, and I have been back to visit the residents and staff who I miss so dearly. They were my angels guiding me, helping me and giving me my life back.

Life is good now. I learned there was more abuse to my child than I knew. He is doing absolutely wonderful now. He said he is finally home because our home with his father was just a place to live.

To the supporters and contributors of Birchway-

I am crying as I write this to you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Without you, my son and I would not be where we are today.

The world is brighter and much happier because you supported Birchway.

There are so many stories like mine because of you.

Please continue to give to Birchway Niagara. Your contributions have a ripple effect.

*Grace’s name has been changed to protect her and her son’s identity.