“When my husband left the country to visit his family at the beginning of March 2020, I thought this is the only time I can leave because I felt like I was caged. He was watching all the time. There were cameras everywhere and digitally he controlled me so much that there was no way I could even call anybody or ask for help.

I contacted Family and Children Services (FACS) the day before he left. They directed me to Women’s Place (now Birchway Niagara). The first time I went to the shelter, I went with my close friend because I was afraid to take my own car as I feared there must be a tracker on it. I was shaking and scared until I met with Ivy, an outreach counsellor at the shelter. She made me comfortable by explaining that I was in a safe place.

I was advised by the staff to check into the shelter with my sons before my ex-husband came home at the end of March, and was planning to enter the shelter. I was able to find friends who could keep my two dogs and bird. That was one of my biggest fears coming here… what’s going to happen to my pets. They are my babies and I cannot leave them!

Suddenly, however, the government was calling everyone abroad home because of COVID and my husband was coming home early. The shelter was also able to take fewer people because of social distancing. I was asked if I could find a place to stay with friends or a relative so I could get out before my husband got home.
I reached out to a friend who agreed to keep us, then I contacted my uncle in Toronto and he said “we are coming”. They had no idea what had happened, but my uncle and auntie came and we went with them.

I kept in touch with the shelter and with FACS, and we stayed in Toronto until housing in Niagara Falls was arranged with the help of Amanda, Birchway Niagara’s transitional and housing support worker. Luckily, school moved online during COVID so my sons could continue their studies with their regular teachers for the five months we were in Toronto. Some things happen for a reason.

From March 2020 until a year later, I received help from the shelter’s outreach programs. I am grateful for all the help I received, including safety planning.

Every time I entered the shelter I felt safe and secure. It was a safe place to express my feelings to Ivy, who was my guide and counsellor. When I first started talking with her, there were so many things I didn’t tell her. She was new, and I was trying to hide and protect my husband still, but slowly I opened up, especially when I realized it was important when speaking with my lawyer.

I also worked with Cheryl, who helped me to find a lawyer quickly. I had no idea how this legal thing worked. Cheryl helped a lot. I didn’t even know WHAT to ask. She helped me to connect with Legal Aid and they gave me a list of lawyers to choose from.

When you see your kids suffering, I think something happens to you as a mom. I am so glad that the shelter was here to help when I knew what I had to do. From safety planning to finding a home, they guided me every step of the way.”

-Name has been changed.